Self Care 101

A blog for heathens and hell-raisers, artists and activists. For those who try to comply but grow weary and long for a little bit of rebellion and love. 閑不徹

Anonymous asked: My best friend is suicidal, and I have tried to help her but I dont know what to do now, she is saying that there is nothing left and that no one can help her.

That is such a scary situation to be in and I am sorry your friend is struggling so hard. If you are in the USA, you can call  1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is a help line run by the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. This line will allow you to talk to someone who can point you to resources available in your area. They also have a helpful list of things to do when someone is threatening suicide:

Please let me know if this is relevant information, and be sure to take care of yourself, too. I am sending strength and positive thoughts your way!

Self Care 101 Update

I have not updated this blog in a long time (largely due to a personal need for some deep self-care) but had quite a shock when I saw today that my follower count has jumped from 250 to over 600 - holy moly! It is amazing that so many of you found this blog and I hope it has been helpful and inspiring for your own journey in self-care. Since there is clearly an audience for this blog, I will do my best to start writing again and posting tips and resources as I find them. 

As always, please feel free to let me know what you would like to see covered on this blog. My ask box is always open!

Anonymous asked: I just wanted to say for all those who try yoga for stress, hot yoga's actually bad for your tendons and ligaments. Hatha yoga is much better for you, and still very good for stress.

Thanks for the info!

The Basics:
Common Responses to Rape/Sexual Assault(ppt)
Talking About Trauma (ppt)
Why You Aren’t Bad for Loving Your Abuser.
Need Help With:
Surviving the Holidays (ppt)
Overstimulated Nerves
Self-Injury (ppt)
Flashbacks (ppt)
Dissociating (ppt)
I’m triggered- Now What?
More On Triggers
On Purposely Triggering Yourself
Boundaries (ppt)
Boundaries 101
Boundaries: How to set them
What is Self Care Anyway?
BACE Method
Self Care When You Lack a Sense of Self
Interpersonal Self-Care
Emotional Self Care
Physical Self Care
Intimacy After Rape
Lets Talk Consent
Lets Talk Sex
Sexuality After Rape
For Friends/Family/Partners of Survivors:
How to Help a Friend Who Has Been Raped.(ppt)
Avoiding Awkward- How to talk about rape when we talk to survivors.(ppt)
Sometimes the easiest thing to say is the worst.
A Friend is Self Harming (ppt)
Comfort In. Complain Out.
What Can I Do?
A Friend is Dissociating.(ppt)

my favorite self care is animals! many animal shelters are happy to have people socialize their animals, and its a great way to hang out with some non-judgemental furry friends!

* * *

This is great advice - there are even studies that support the notion that spending time around animals can help ease depression and anxiety and improve health. I love animals and it is always a treat to cuddle with a cute cat or dog after a stressful day. Thanks for this great submission!

The Benefits of Mindfulness


1. It helps us to let go of the tiredness, stress and negativity that clutters up our mind. That then frees us to be still, and get in touch with our true self.

2. It helps us get in touch with our feelings and emotions - so we’re able to respond, and not simply react. 

3. It helps us get in touch with our empathy - so we’re more able to listen, understand, connect and get inside the world of other people in our lives.

4. It keeps our focus on the present - so we’re not trapped by the past, or the pain and regret that can stop us moving on. Or, by concerns about the future, which haven’t happened yet!

5. It helps to keep us grounded in who we really are. That can increase our self confidence and self esteem, and we’re able to access and draw upon our strengths.

6. The body and mind are closely intertwined. Thus, if we’re careful to attend to our mental wellbeing it’s like to be good for our physical health, too.

(Source: onlinecounsellingcollege)

queenmiralai asked: I was wondering if you're going to be continuing this blog. I love it! I'm sad that it's not active anymore. You posted the best things!

This showed up in my inbox a while ago, and I meant to respond sooner. I will be starting this blog up again soon! I have been faltering a bit with my own self care, and I think blogging will help get me back on track.

As always, please feel free to submit posts or to send suggestions to my ask box!

catpips asked: Hello :v I just want to say that the blog you have here is really fantastic. It has helped me alot and i realise i just need to take some time out for myself. Because I AM special and I AM worth it. thank you so much. Thank you

Wow, thank you - hearing this means so much! I am glad to know that you found things you needed here. You ARE special, and worth it! Never forget it.

Elderberry Elixir


Now that October is here, it is time for colds and influenza to find their way into our bodies. I have heard amazing things about elderberries anti-cold/flu properties, so I decided to try making an elixir for this autumn. 

Elder Mother Immune Elixir (recipe adapted from


  • 500ml (pint) sized mason jar (or any glass jar that seals well
  • Fresh elderberries (I used frozen ones from Quebec)
  • About a pint of high quality brandy (the better the brandy, the better the taste)
  • Honey, to taste (approx. 1/3 pint or less)
  • Stirring spoon

Fill jar to the top with elderberries. Pour honey in slowly, stirring to get good coverage over the berries. Fill jar with brandy, stirring as you go to release air bubbles. Cover the jar with a tight fitting lid and shake (to further mix the ingredients). Let macerate in a dark, cool place for four to six weeks. Strain, reserving liquid. Store in a dry, dark and cool place.

How to use the elixir:

1/4 - 1/2 dropperful of elixir every two to three hours at the first sign of illness. It is important to take the elixir frequently, or else it will not be effective. Use the same dosage when actively ill. For a preventative dose, 1/3 dropperful every four hours or so should work fine.

Rest well and keep hydrated. Extra sleep will help the elixir work as well. You can add spices (cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, orange peel) for extra “zing”, or you can add licorice root, peony root or mullein if you often suffer from respiratory illness. 

thespeedycricket asked: I self care with THE MUPPETS!

That is an excellent way to self-care!

Anonymous asked: i have tv shows: himym, parks&rec, bored to death, community, buffy the vampire slayer. for films: wild strawberries, smiles of a summer night, amelie, whatever works, i love you man... ahh I am so hesitant to send this because I know there are so many that have helped me through that I'm forgetting

Great list - I had to edit my own list down to a bare minimum. Thanks for sharing! 

Comfort Books & Film

I am, and always have been, a bookworm. There are few things I love more than a well-written story, and I have always sought comfort from the pages of books. I find comfort when I allow myself to get lost in another world, whether on page or onscreen, and I often turn to my favourite books and movies whenever I need a good pick-me-up. 

My favourite self-care books are

  • Any Harry Potter book, by JK Rowling (although perhaps not the sixth and seventh; I cry every time)
  • The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, C.S. Lewis
  • Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
  • A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline L’Engle

My favourite self-care movies are

  • Hook (seriously, who didn’t have a crush on Rufio?)
  • The Blues Brothers
  • The Princess Bride
  • My Neighbour Totoro

Do you self-care with movies or books? What are your favourites? My ask box is always open!